Honour your mother and father

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Last week, while I was at my parents, they were talking to friends of theirs about a barbecue they had gone to at another friends house. In particular they were talking about the son and his girlfriend who had been staying with this friend (I think that’s how it went, I am a bit sketchy with that side of the details.)
Apparently the girlfriend had been asked to do the dishes, not a big ask considering that they were staying there and had been getting all their meals cooked and the laundry done and all the other things that mothers seem to feel obliged to do.

Her response to the request? “I don’t do dishes” she said, as she continued to stay seated.

We all agreed that this was totally inappropriate. If you have been staying with someone and they have been going out of their way to make you comfortable, and then ask a small request like doing dishes its a bit selfish to say no like that.

It turns out that the girlfriend is one of these people who get quite.. upset.. when things don’t go the way she wants them to. So for the sake of peace, mum did the dishes herself. The son, apparently, was one of these easy going people who just cruise through life and doesn’t let things get him down.
That was until the girlfriend got her claws in.
Now the family have to walk on tenterhooks so as not to upset the girlfriend and therefore upset the son.

“Sounds familiar?” my dad asked me.

Indeed it does, I lost my brother to a similar girl. My parents lost a son and their grandchildren.

In the past I have not gone into too many details of this part of my life, mostly because I know how much it upsets my mother (who reads this blog) but often I get so angry at what they have done that it sometimes chokes me up inside. Not angry with him, for I feel sorry for him, but angry at her and the lies she has told her family. I just feel I need to put this out, partly as therapy for me and partly because I know that that bitch would have poisoned the children’s minds against my mother and I don’t want them to look back and say “You never even tried!”

I have not seen my brother in nearly 5 years, despite the fact that my work takes me within a kilometre of their house. In that time they have had two more children, both times we have found out about the birth from a third party. The last time a friend spotted the birth notice in the paper. The final falling out (as far as I can tell) was because of the birth of Emily. No longer were they the ones with the grand-kids. The problems started much earlier than that..

Mostly the first dark clouds on the horizon started with the arrangements for my mothers marriage to my dad in January 1993 and things slowly got progressively worse from there. My marriage to Amanda was another point of contention, then it started coming down to things like my parents not spending enough money on them (believe me they spent more than enough!), or not dropping everything to pander to their whims.

As time went by the demands got bigger and bigger.

Then there was the phone-calls. Ringing up my parents to have a go at them for whatever bee they had in their bonnets at the time, saying hurtful, spiteful remarks about how horrible my parents are to them, how much they (she) hates them.

The ironic thing is they are both devout Christians who attend mass every weekend and regularly have the priest visit them at their house. I am agnostic, borderline atheist but in many ways I would love their religion to be true so she can burn in hell for eternity.

Is that too much to ask?


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